Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
