All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize