Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
