Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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