i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
