even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Alive.
So much puke
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
