And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
