I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
