youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
