i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
