She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
