whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize