It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
