Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
