Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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