garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
