Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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