dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
false alarm. still invincible.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
