I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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