There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize