no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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