fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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