you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
