I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
