Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
ok first of all what the fuck
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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