can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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