Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
