I cockslap morals
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
