it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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