I've blown a few things in my day
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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