I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
