I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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