Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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