On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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