five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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