I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
