Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Damn victory sex feels great
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