Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
