i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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