Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
