I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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