I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
