You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
