pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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