Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
