I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
