I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
