I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
