scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
