it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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