Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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