You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
