if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
