I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
