Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
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I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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