Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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