I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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