Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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