Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
