it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
