I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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