Are we in a gay sports bar?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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