Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
