you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
